Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
