No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Girls should come with a carfax report
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
