I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
PANTIES FOUND
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