I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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