If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
