he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
