I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
