i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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