I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
