This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
