oh god the rape fog is back!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
