she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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