If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
