just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
