this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize