I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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