FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
