The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
