I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude i'm inner monologue high
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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