Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
