Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I currently don't understand fingers.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
