just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
