I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
