if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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