When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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