that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
