what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
