I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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