I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
