there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
