Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
