are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
