TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
