arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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