I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
