you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
