I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
