We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
