Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
