dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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