so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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