I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
