tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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