were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
