If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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