so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Someone shattered a urinal.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I could fuck to npr.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
