he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
