just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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