Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Randomize
