I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
