shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
